Swirling...

My mind is swirling right now with temperatures that aren't doing what I think they should be doing, ovulation test, and just things that are out of my control. I am working, to accept this place where the Lord has me. The sermon at church on Sunday was all about the truth of when you honestly accept the place where the Lord has you, no matter how hard that place is, you are able to step into other peoples joys because you are completely confident and peaceful in the fact that the Lord is in control. Our pastor challenged us to daily pray for the peace that comes from knowing that God has you right where He wants you. That is a hard thing to do.

Most recently, I have not been able to do that, instead, I was totally self consumed and selfish...it reeked havoc and left a trail of sadness and hurt. I have seen the opposite of what our Pastor was talking about above, and honestly, I don't ever want to see it again. I have been incapable of walking into someones joy because I was consumed by my own sadness and not accepting of this place that God has me. As I have said before, there is a lot of learning that is involved in this time of my life, and unfortunately, it hasn't looked pretty all the time. I am still deeply saddened by how I acted. Sad about a missed opportunity to rejoice with my best friend, sad about knowing that I hurt her, and just plain sad. So, I am praying to be different. Praying each morning to accept this place that the Lord has me...

In the mean time, I am wearing this to serve as a reminder...it arrived yesterday from another dear, dear friend with a simple note. "The primrose is one of the first flowers to signify spring’s awakening. Representing the courage it takes to be bold in the face of difficult conditions, the primrose is also consistently graceful and delicate. It is a reminder that grace under pressure is the ultimate indicator of character." She went on to say, this bracelet should serve as a reminder of the One true place where Grace comes from...

Again, the Lord has showed His grace and Mercy, and used people closest to me to daily remind me of that. This journey and this load has been made lighter because of the people God has placed in my life and I am forever grateful. I will wear this bracelet daily and not only be reminded of God's grace, but also of the person that sent it and the knowledge that I am not alone in this.

To my other dear friend I mentioned above, words can't describe how deeply sorry I am for missing my opportunity to step into the place where God has you and join your in rejoicing.

Patiently praying...

Much Love-
Al