Out with the old...

Obviously, the blog went on vacation when I did! Sorry about that. Fortunately, the rest and time away was nice and refreshing and will hopefully get me back on the blog train now. There has been a lot to reflect on over the last couple weeks. It has been interesting to think back over the previous year and really spend some time reflecting on it. There has been some ups for sure, but there have also been a lot of downs. I feel as though 2011 was actually a really hard year, so I am excited to close the chapter and move forward with hope and expectation for 2012.

With the end of 2011, the Lord showed us it is out with the old by releasing Regan from the job that he didn't really love anyway. It has been a hard time and also a really sweet time of seeing God's provision and faithfulness. We have been here before, and it is neat to look back and remember that God carried us the first time and will do the same this time. I am excited to see where the Lord will put Regan next, and though at times, it is overwhelming and scary, overall, we really see the Lord's hand in this. He has a ton of opportunities right now, so we are praying that the Lord makes His path clear. That we will see closed doors as prevision and not discouragement. That the Lord would give us discernment and wisdom, and that Regan would find a job that he really loves doing and utilizes his strengths.

I was hoping that out with the old also meant the Lord would answer our prayer for a baby with this first months treatment of fertility medicine, but it doesn't seem that is the case. As Regan and I were driving home to Florida for Christmas, we talked about where we were last year at this same time...driving home to Florida for Christmas and sad (sad might be a slight understatement...it is more like devastated) that I wasn't pregnant. It is hard to imagine that an entire year and more has gone by of being in this place. Though I was hopeful that this would be the month...it isn't and with that comes more sadness. My prayer is that God will answer our prayer in the next couple months, and that this hard time will too come to a close.

The end of 2011 also brought to light many burdens for family members that are in hard and really bad places. It definitely puts things in perspective in light of all we are going through. Regan and I returned from vacation with heavy hearts and a burden to pray for our families and the situations they are in. That coupled with our own situations has really pressed hard on us. I pray that I see that as the thumb of the Lord pressing on us, but sometimes, I just really pray to be released from this!

Our house has to be the main blessing and example of God's provision from 2011. Last Christmas we were in the rental condo and feeling like we would be there forever! In April, the Lord blessed us with a house that exceeded all our expectations. It has been such a sweet place where our friends and family love to come, a place to host our community group, a place of comfort for friends to stay in times of need, and a place that Regan and I love to come home too. There isn't a day that passes where one of us doesn't say how much we love and appreciate our home. We are so grateful for the blessing of this house. The Lord knew that this year of me struggling so much with infertility, I would need a place that felt like a shelter, a place to seek refuge in a way...and He gave that to me in Regan and in this home. My prayer is that the Lord will fill this house...

So, we enter 2012 with heavy hearts.

We are praying for mountain tops in 2012. I am praying that I can look back on this post and see God's hand woven throughout these times. We are praying for answers, praying for a job, and still...

Praying for baby Ellis...

Much love in 2012-
Al