I have found it rather easy to give up the temperature taking in the morning and not worry about it! What a relief. We shall see how that continues to go as time carries on.
My prayer for today is that I could be honestly, truly, and genuinely at peace with where the Lord has me right now. Ultimately, this would lead to a place of such confidence that when I hear other peoples great news, I could rejoice with them. I am not there yet.
My prayer for this acceptance would in turn give me the ability to just relax. To not worry that every time I go out, someone is going to drop the pregnancy bomb. It would allow me the ability to enjoy people again and maybe actually be able to go on Facebook without getting depressed. Oh, to experience the freedom, in the depth of my heart, with all that I am, freedom of believing that God is in this. What a great place that would be.
It breaks my heart to have to admit that I am not like that. I say, daily, that I trust the Lord in this...but my constant concern and anxiety proves that I am not being honest with myself. They are just shallow words that go no deeper than giving lip service to make myself feel better.
What would that truly look like? In any circumstance? To just believe, with all that I am, with every fiber of my being, that God has me in the palm of His hand.
That is what I am praying for.
It is a big one. I need help. Please pray for me.
Much Love-
Al
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