In all honesty, I dove in head first. I set out to occupy my brain with the details of the shower, to keep it from focusing on the sadness I was feeling. By Sunday, I was exhausted. Here is the proof of the details:
I was so incredibly blessed to have the Bird in town for the weekend, and that in itself was a lot of why I made it through too! It is amazing what she does for my soul. It was nice to feel comforted and understood. To feel the freedom to be sad, to be asked how I am doing, and to be loved in the midst of all of this. She was the perfect compliment. She could entertain the guest while I had my mini breakdowns, and no one ever knew!
Because honestly, there were a couple of those breakdowns, and I don't feel bad about them. I think that allowing myself to have those, ultimately helped. It helped me feel less weird about being surrounded by moms. It helped me not keep it pent up inside of me. It helped me just feel okay, and that is what I needed in that moment.
So now, we move on. We move on to the begining of the school year and all that awaits with that. Lots of pregnancy talk from people that haven't seen my prego co-worker for the whole summer and then her maternity leave in a couple weeks.
On another personal note. I am taking my ovulation test this week, I am on day 15 today and still haven't gotten a positive ovulation test. I will not stress. I will not stress.
This post is ALL OVER THE MAP. I guess it is a good example of where my brain is right now.
My prayer is that I do ovulate this month and that the test will be positive tomorrow. I don't know of a month when I haven't, though I have only taken these test for a few months. I pray that I won't stress about it and that I can trust in the Lords plan.
Patiently Praying-
Much Love-
Al
No comments:
Post a Comment